Running in circles, Part 4

Carlos Jones this week:
Thursday- Rocky River Brewing Co; early set from 7-11p
Saturday- Mocha Maiden (new Akron venue); 9p-close

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Today's workout:
6 miles total:
2 miles warm-up (16:09)
2 miles @ I-pace (8x400m; with 80 second recoveries)
2 miles cooldown (15:48)

400m splits: 90/90/87/86/84/85/86/86
~~

It hit me all of a sudden on Monday.

I. Am. Not. Indestructable.

Mentally, I'm feeling a bit out of balance. Not sure if its burnout coming on, but I'm going to pass on another marathon this week. I don't know the exact cause, whether its apprehension from starting my my new job or trepidation from the upcoming big ultra run later this month. Yes, its true I've accepted a new position with my company. After working a late shift for the last 18 months, I have some worries about the lifestyle changes involved with going back to days.

Physically, I didn't recover as quickly from the Akron Marathon like I had in past weeks. Even with a recovery trail run on Sunday and a day off Monday, I found myself with lingering quad soreness. Come Tuesday, when I snuck in an afternoon run around downtown and Ohio City, I've accepted that I am a bit tired and need a couple extra days of recovery.

I've been on a bit of a roll with the marathoning in the past month. Look over at my sidebar. Five races in September, two personal records, and four races marathon or longer. Yet, in my head, I want more. Last year I pulled off the Akron/Towpath marathon double. At the time, two marathons in two weeks was the zaniest marathon streak I had accomplished and I even surprised myself with a solid run in the second week at Towpath.

Naturally, I was looking forward to Towpath Marathon again this year. Its one of our local marathons, and one that runs completely within the splendor of the Cuyahoga Valley National Park. 2-in-2 weeks. No problem, right? In my pea-sized brain I was even thinking of giving BQ (3:15) a go. Now that its later in the week and I'm feeling more recovered, I still feel confident enough that I could pull it off again this year.

But what's the point? BQ? Someone asked me this, "Why not just run Columbus then?"

In the moment, as an athlete and competitor, I've found it hard to take a step back to take a look at the big picture. It seems like I always have something to prove. Yeah, running another 'thon would be a challenge. And qualifying for Boston again would be fun and possibly attainable. But today I've decided to take stock in my season's goals. I still have the 12-hour run in 2.5 weeks and JFK 50 mile in 6.5 weeks. There's still a lot ahead to look forward to. As I reflect now, its plain to see that if the 12-hour run is important to me, that racing a fast marathon while I should be tapering is a dumb idea.

While its tough to take a voluntary step back in training, the good news is that I'm not injured. Just a small adjustment, extra rest and I'll continue forward towards JFK. It seems my training needs a new direction. I'm going to meet up with my old track buds Andrew and Denis this Saturday at the Nature's Bin race here in my neighborhood at Lakewood Park. I miss them. And Sunday, I can still participate in the Towpath Marathon by volunteering my time or showing up along the route to cheer the runners on.

I knew at some point that I'd be writing about "running in circles," as less about running and more as a metaphor for my life. As eluded to earlier, I'm out of balance. There's something aside from running thats missing from my life. I dunno, not enough roots reggae? It's possible. Kidding aside, there are many days I wish I would pour my enthusiasm and drive into a career or relationship in a similar way as I do with running. Part of me is excited about the mystery of what's to come soon. I think I have a lot to look forward to when I change back to days. When I took my last postion I knew it was a 18-24 month gig and I'm somewhat shocked that the time has come and gone so quickly. I've missed out on so much over the past year-and-a-half. No doubt I've missed the evening group runs with Second Sole and Cleveland West peeps. There's that to look forward to. And I imagine I will soon have time to volunteer an hour or two at the VA hospital once again. Take a class? Now I'm talking.

So am I edgy? Perhaps. I'm coping with some new beginnings. And its exciting. Its clear to me that I have plenty to look forward in the near future--at home, work, and at play.

I'm starting the rebalancing tonight by lifting my spirits with a Carlos Jones sing-a-long. See you there?